Happy April Fool’s Day!!!

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Great Pranks For Your Loved Ones:

Stuck In The Bathroom
Remove the bathroom door knob and put it back on the reverse way so the lock is on the outside. Then push the button or turn to lock the door. Remember to leave the door open. Now, whoever is next to use the bathroom, will not even notice this and he will lock himself inside.

Salty Toothpaste
Sprinkle some salt on your victim’s toothbrush. When this person goes to brush their teeth, he or she will get a salty tasted treat.

Shower Before Entering
If you know someone who turns on the shower before actually entering the tub area. Then before their next shower, turn the showerhead so it faces outside the shower area. Most people don’t even look up before turning the nozzle.

Shampoo Shower Prank
Glue a bottle of shampoo to the shower shelf (to avoid damage, use clear caulk on a surface that can be scraped).

Bar Of Soap Lather Prank
Take some nail polish and coat a bar of soap with it. Let it dry. Then put it in the bathroom shower. When your victim tries to use it, he or she will go nuts trying to get it to lather up.

Unable To Open
Glue all the bottles of shampoo shut so they cannot be opened.

Terrible Aim
Sprinkle some water with yellow food coloring all over the toilet seat and floor. It will look like whoever used the toilet before you was a terrible aimer.

Cream Cheese Deodorant
Scrape off about an inch or so of your victim’s deodorant and replace it with cream cheese. It will take a few minutes to sculpt the cheese in place to look like the deodorant. When finished, put the lid back on and back where you found the deodorant. When your victim needs to freshen up again, he will get a cream cheese surprise

Food Coloring In Hand Soap Dispenser
Put some food coloring inside the hand soap dispenser. When your victim tries to wash his hands, they will end up worse than before he decided to wash them.

Urinate Forever
Impress a buddy who is in a room next to the bathroom. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, but along the way get a large bucket with water and take it in with you. Then slowly pour it in the toilet. It will take forever to finish pouring it all in. Your buddy in the room next door will say, “WOW” as he will think you are taking a very very long pee.

So Forgetful
Tape some magnets to the bottom of a cup and the top of your car and drive away. It will look like you forgot to grab your cup off the top before driving off and people all around will try and get your attention and flag you down, while you just laugh and drive.

Cruelty To Animals
Attach a leash to the rear bumper of your victim’s car. When he drives away, other cars driving behind him will think he forgot about his pet that he tied to the bumper.

Change Automobile Settings
While your victim is away from his car, go inside and turn stereo volume to max, turn windsheild wipers on, air conditioner to max, scoot seats all the way up and adjust mirrors.

Wrong Keys
Next time you are with a group of friends and two of your friends have the same type of car…for example both friends have a Volkswagon. Then chances are both Volkswagon keys will look identical. When both of your friends aren’t looking…switch their keys.

Jack Up The Car
Jack up a persons car so the wheels are just barely off the ground, but not enough to be noticable.

Styrofoam Peanuts
Fill your victim’s car with styrofoam peanuts then ask him to go to the store for you.

Bad Cop, No Donut!
You can usually find a bumper sticker at any Novelty Store that reads, “Bad Cop, No Donut!” If you can’t find one, you can just make one yourself. Place it on your bumper and everytime you see a cop. Just drive in front of him. You might want to reduce your speed a bit to make sure he reads it.

Pop!
Put a balloon over the hole of the victim’s exhaust pipe. After he drives away…a few blocks later, he will hear a big POP!!

I Ran Over My Arm
Place a fake rubber or plastic arm under your tire after you park your car. Add a small puddle of fake blood. Then hide one of your arms. When people ask what happened, tell them the car brakes weren’t working

Sorry About The Damage!
Leave a fake note on someone’s car windsheild that reads, “Sorry about the damage i caused to your automobile. Call me and I will be more than happy to pay for the repair” Be sure not to leave a phone number…of course there is no real damage. But the victim doesn’t know this. He or she will look all over for a dent or scratch or something.
Move The Car
When your victim isn’t paying attention. Get his keys and move his car. If he parked out in the street next to the curb. Then just turn the car around so it is now parked the wrong way.

Tire Blowout
Place a blown up balloon under your victim’s tire. When he starts the car up and drives off, he will hear a loud POP!! and think the tire just blew out!

Confetti In The Defrost
Pour some confetti in your victim’s defrost vent and turn it on high.

(SOURCE)

SOPHISTICATED HIPSTER’s DIGEST™ Fashion Trend Alert: The Little Mint Green Dress { @sh_digest, #mintgreen, #fashiontrends }

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1. Jeans: True Religion
2. Eyeshadow Compact: Lancome
3. Watch: ASOS
4. Nail Polish: Essie
5. Clutch: Chloe
6. Striped Blouse: Threadsence
7. Scarf: ModCloth
8. Shoes: Steve Madden
9. Dress: ModCloth

via BaileyPowell

1. eos Sweet Mint Organic Lip Balm Sphere; 2. Ray-Ban Erika Sunglasses; 3. Make a State-Mint Headband; 4. Essie Mint Candy Apple; 5. Chanel Chic Mint Green Lambskin Flap Bag Spring Purse; 6. Ladurée Mint & Anise Macarons; 7. RAIN Mint Stretch Stone Bracelet; 8. Mint Green Calls; 9. Top Shop Frost Plastic Frame Purse; 10. Layer Cake Shop Soft Green Chunky Sugar; 11. Dolce & Gabbana Classic Leather Pump; 12. Top Shop Mint Silk Balcony Bra; 13. Top Shop Mint Silk Thong; 14. BANK Glamorous Chiffon String Back Dress

via Bailey Powell

GoRunway/Art by Bobby Doherty | Stylist

via ClosetFull  | WHERE TO BUY:

|| Dress - $88 || Knot Shirt - $24 || Knit Sweater - $363 || Trousers - $349 || Sandals - $48 ||

Presenting This Month’s Daily Double Douchebag Edition of Certified Ass Clowns …Bitch Ass George Zimmerman and His “Rent-A-Coon” Joe Oliver Continue To Whore For Right-Wing Propaganda { @sh_digest, #justicefortreyvon, #georgezimmerman, #joeoliver }

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So Twitter is responding to George Zimmerman’s father’s interview on Fox with perhaps the most equitable inappropriate and funny hashtag I’ve seen in quite some time.  I don’t find it myself laughing as much as I am appreciating the complete dearth of credibility in George Zimmerman’s story.  I’m hopeful for an arrest soon provided that is not the end of the story.

via babyboygreen:

WARNING: Certified Ass Clown Alert!!!

According To a Friend, George Zimmerman ‘Couldn’t Stop Crying’ After Killing Trayvon Martin via Gawker

Joe Oliver, Zimmerman’s friend of six years, also attempts to reveal more about the man, who has gone into hiding since the Feb. 26 incident.

image via weian- fu

Oliver told Good Morning America that Zimmerman “couldn’t stop crying” in the days after he’d killed Trayvon, and also suggested that the reality of what he’s done is just beginning to sink in:

Just now he’s becoming aware of how big this has gotten, and that’s why he contacted [lawyer Craig Sonner]. I spoke to him for the first time yesterday, briefly, and it’s just starting to sink in. Up until this point, because he was there and he knows what happened, and because he’s not in jail, he’s been very confident—naively—that this would all blow over. But because only half of the story has gone out, because the evidence won’t be heard until the grand jury convenes, you know, he’s gotta go into hiding. But now he realizes just how big this is.

Oliver also said that he’s “never seen anything” to suggest that Zimmerman is a racist, and also went so far as to suggest that “coon,” the racial epithet heard on the 911 tapes, is actually “goon.” He additionally believes that the screams for help, heard in the background of multiple 911 calls, were coming from Zimmerman. (Other witnesses have claimed otherwise.)

Joe Oliver Exposed via Rolling Out

As previously reported, Joe Oliver told ABC that his friend Zimmerman used a “term of endearment” when he called Martin a “f—— goon” before he shot him, not  a “f—— coon” as many believed.

On March 27, Oliver appeared as a guest on “Last Word” with host Lawrence O’Donell, who accused him of not really knowing Zimmerman.
In a matter of moments, Oliver proved O’Donnell’s point and stumbled over questions about his “close pal”‘ causing O’Donnell to shut him down saying, “You don’t even have a consistent story. You’ve told us you don’t know what his mistakes were; then you tell us he grew from them. There’s so much you don’t know, Joe.”

New York Times columnist Charles Blow who accused Oliver of “playing people like they’re stupid,” and Washington Post columnist Jonathan Capehart also joined in, leaving the former news anchor reeling.

it is not uncommon for former or current professional talking heads to offer their “services” to victim’s families as “family friends” whenever a major news story explodes into the national conscience the way Trayvon’s shooting has.

You would think that the media would be more forthcoming about the fact that they are interviewing one of their own. But they often don’t because they don’t want to jeopardize their access to the victim’s family.

—Sandra Rose News

A PleaTo Abolish Human Safaris { @sh_digest, #humansafaris, #povertyporn, #tourism }

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Human Safaris (also known as tourism)

via Womanist Musings

Biyuti is a bakla Filipina living on stolen Algonquin land. He works to sustain and increase the biyuti of the world through decolonization and through her explorations of the intersections of race with queerness/gender. She also blogs at The Biyuti Collective and you can find her on Twitter: @JustBiyuti.  

Until recently I had never noticed how very creepy white people can sound when they are talking about travelling. I heard a conversation recently about travelling and one participant talked about how they could sit for hours in Mumbai just watching. Watching people. Talking all about how different everything was over there. Which is interesting in light of a story on India on human safaris. On hearing this discussion over tourism and travel, I wonder if there is a substantive difference between going on an actual human safari and any tourism by white people in PoC countries.

Now other people have written about the problems with tourism. And there are many. But I really just want to talk about how creepy it sounds. It is poverty porn, treating cultures of colour like they are commodities to be consumed; it is exotification, etc. This is most visible white photographers taking pictures of poor Black and Brown people (often without consent). But it is also visible in the travel narratives most people use when describing their trips. There is a tendency to focus on differences and to convey aspects that the audience will find shocking (e.g., “What? You can smoke in elevators in China? Amazing! They spit a lot in China? Gross!”). It is othering. And it is creepy as shit.

What is creepy about this voyeuristic consumption is that is almost feels like gloating. It is the white colonial gaze going out into the world and viewing the destruction that they have wrought upon the world. And this is considered a leisure activity. This is something privileged people do when they need a break from their regular lives. Something they do for *fun*.

Of course this isn’t everyone. For some, travel is used as an educational opportunity. How many times have I heard white people in Canada saying that this spoiled white child or other should travel so that they can see what real hardship is like? So that they can better appreciate the privileges they have built on the backs and oppression of PoC? This is a common theme in extolling the ‘virtues’ of travel. It is about becoming more cultured.

And yet, particularly in the cases of consuming pain and oppression for educational reasons, it never crosses their minds that their very action is contributing to the misery that they are viewing. Nor does it seem to cross the minds of white people that they are *responsible* for the misery and oppression that they are consuming. They never appear to learn the lessons that they really need. Instead they go back home feeling grateful for the systems and institution that privileges them. They feel grateful that a child somewhere is starving to death, that a woman is being trafficked, that wars are being waged and people are *dying,* so that they can feel fortunate that they are not poor, not of colour, not other. This is what they learn.

For fun or education, tourism troubles me. It troubles me that all these white people are travelling about the world consuming not only most of the world’s resources but the cultures and misery of PoC the world over.

Then they go back home and tell stories about how ‘amazing,’ ‘interesting,’ and ‘different’ life is in the places they visit. And I’ve noticed a marked difference in the creepy voyeuristic tales of visiting PoC places versus visiting European countries. If they talk about Europe, it is always about the art, architecture, etc., the culture as civilization. This is not how PoC places are talked about. It is always about the ‘natives,’ the strange customs, the exotic food, or whatever.

So creepy and so loaded with racism and colonial attitudes of old.

How To Escape From Emotional Abuse { @sh_digest, #domesticviolence, #emotionalabuse, #stopabuse }

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 ”If you are a victim of emotional abuse, you have to wake up to the fact that this person *does not love you* and probably hasn’t loved you for a very long time, if ever. Because the truth of the matter is, someone who can be emotionally cruel, malicious, and compassionless with people who have given him their love and their trust, is so absorbed in self-hate that he is incapable of loving himself, much less anyone else. What the abuser feels is obsession, not love.

If you find that you are having to explain the basics of respect and courtesy to a partner – if you are finding that he just DOESN’T SEEM TO GET IT, when you try to explain why his behavior or actions were disrespectful – run far and run fast. People who are capable of maintaining and contributing to a loving, supportive, healthy relationship, DON’T need to constantly have the concepts of respect, compassion, and consideration explained to them”   ___Emotional Abusers by Nathalie P.

It is NOT wrong, or unhealthy to want someone to love and care about you and care for you, and to want to reciprocate. It is only through this kind of openness that we can acheive true intimacy with another individual. And two emotionally healthy people, CAN do this without becoming co-dependent. Unfortunately, abusers violate the trust that this kind of relationship requires, and are incapable of true intimacy. They want you to be dependent. People who ARE capable of genuinely loving you in a healthy and safe way, DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU, and do not DELIBERATELY DO THINGS TO HURT YOU. They don’t play on your insecurities and they don’t wage psychological warfare on you. They don’t blame YOU for all the relationship problems, and they don’t fabricate problems just so you can be the scapegoat.

People who love you will treat you with respect, consideration, courtesty, honesty and compassion. If you are with someone who matches the abusive behavior in this article, get help. The sooner you wake up to the fact that the relationship is unhealthy, and move on, the sooner your life will improve.

Remember: Safe People are people who draw you closer to who you were meant to be spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. They encourage you to be your most loving, growing self.

More links to web pages/sites about Abusers and Emotional Abuse:

Romeo is Bleeding – how to recognize and avoid abusers and controllers

Angry Affirmations – how abusers stay mad at the world

how to be Unhappy – how abusers stay miserable

The Blame Game – How Abusers with Borderline Personality Disorder set people up in “no win” situations. If you want to learn more about BPD, check out the entire section at Suite101. It might be that the abuser you are dealing with has this very debilitating disorder.

What Is Emotional Abuse?-Posted by Efe_Ogaren for NakedConvos

A Non-Borderline’s Quest to Understand Borderlines – Q&A about why Borderlines act the way they do (abusively), to people close to them.

Devaluation – How borderlines “devalue” people close to them so they can feel justified in acting out.

Good book resources include:

Emotional Blackmail – When the People in your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate you, by Susan Forward, Ph.D.

Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse, by Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D.

Footnote:

Many people have written to me asking where this article came from, what are my references? It came from “eating the fucking dog food” (figuratively, folks) – from fucking up. Bigtime. From getting sucked in and having to dig myself out of the shit. It came from having to take a long hard look at myself and figure out what was wrong with ME that made me susceptible, and learning about what I should watch out for so it doesn’t happen again. It came from reading, and counselling, and introspection, and talking to people in the counselling profession, and talking to others who had been through similar experiences, and all that hard work stuff. No, I’m not a doctor, or a psychologist (though one of my ex’s thinks I SHOULD be), but over time, I have developed a deep insight into the human condition – largely because having life bite you in the ass has the side effect of opening your eyes, if you let it.

There wasn’t a great deal of resources online about covert emotional abuse when I wrote this. So in addition to being catharic, I figured hey, if it helps ONE OTHER PERSON to figure out that they are being taken for a very shitty ride, then it’s served its purpose. »»Read The Entire Article Here

Absolut Vodka & Swedish House Mafia Collab For Epic ‘Absolut Greyhound’ Commercial { @sh_digest, #absolutgreyhound, #swedishhousemafia }

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Absolut Vodka & Swedish House Mafia Collab For Epic ‘Absolut Greyhound’ Commercial

Absolut Vodka & Swedish House Mafia’s ‘Absolut Greyhound’ Commercial

Swedish vodka brand Absolut has teamed up with electro-house band Swedish House Mafia to deliver a thrilling, futuristic tv spot for its newest mixed-drink, Absolut Greyhound. Made just for Absolut, the band’s intense rhythmic house track, “Greyhound” is available now on iTunes.

“We’re adding music to mixology, and making hit tracks to go with our hit cocktails,” says Jonas Tåhlin, Vice President Global Marketing at The Absolut Company. “We always expect our consumers to remember the taste of a perfect cocktail. Now they are going to remember what it sounds like.”

Created by TBWA/Chiat/Day and directed by Carl Erik Rinsch (The Gift), the commercial—set as a desert masquerade ball—is quite the brilliant visual journey that keeps you watching to the very end.

Swedish House Mafia‘s three DJs Axwell, Steve Angello, and Sebastian Ingrosso engage in a little friendly competition—racing as three robotic greyhounds. Actually, I’m surprised PETA hasn’t loaded up the complaint wagon on this. Anyhoo…

Meanwhile, high-fashion spectators eagerly await the victor and sip the one-part vodka, three-parts grapefruit beverage. When one DJ/dog (in yellow) trips up his the others with some special effects, it causes the DJ/dog in blue to fall and tumble but he regains his footing and all three finish strong.

Absolut has also commissioned Swedish electro-soul group Little Dragon and British alternative pop artist Dan Black to pen Absolut cocktail-inspired tracks over the coming months, so we’re excited to see and hear what’s coming next!

What If Logos Were Honest? { @sh_digest, #disney, #dunkindonuts, #playboy, #apple, #l’oreal, #olympics, #harley davidson, # ViktorHertz }

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Posted by clementine to ReflectionOf.Me

Graphic designer from Sweden Viktor Hertz has created a cool series of logos redesigned to better explain what you’re really going to find within the brand. Lucky for us, he’s back with a new set of Honest Logos that are sure to make you laugh. 

See the full gallery on Posterous

Sophisticated Hipster’s Digest™ Featured Website: KiKi in Switzerland

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I Love This Blog!!!

KiKi in Switzerland

Life Abroad…In the land of cheese and chocolate.

All About Me !!

KiKi SwitzerlandI’m a 30-something year old Jersey Girl living in Switzerland. I am married to a Swiss (ask him, he says he’s Aussie). A former teacher in the US, I now teach in Zurich. Ich spreche keine Deutsch (I don’t speak German).

View my complete profile

Send questions, comments, this and that to cheeseandchocolate.kiki@gmail.com

The rants and raves of a Black American living in Switzerland!

Hipster Hotel Parties: Boulevard Hotel from Brian Haider is the Ultimate Hotel Party { @sh_digest, #brianhaider, #hipsters }

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Hipster Hotel Parties: Boulevard Hotel from Brian Haider is the Ultimate Hotel Party

Michael Hines  |  TrendHunter

BRIAN HAIDER

‘Boulevard Hotel’ from Brian Haider is a series of photos that shows what happens when you let hipsters take over a hotel room. There is drinking, smoking and a little bit of nudity.

Even though I am not a hipster, I would still love to be a part of the shenanigans in ‘Boulevard Hotel.’ Brian Haider does a wonderful job of capturing a group of friends having one hell of a night. Drinking and romance are all apart of a hard day’s night. Check the links to see more fun photoshoots from Brian Haider

References: behance.net and fashionserved

OMG!!! Chardonnay, LOL!!! Riesling, LMAO!!! Pinot Grigio, And WTF!!! Pinot Noir Are The NEW “It” Wines ForThe Texting Generation.

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(Vision Wine and Spirits) – OMG!!! Chardonnay from TXT Cellars.

LOL!!! Riesling

LMAO!!! Pinot Grigio

WTF!!! Pinot Noir

The punctuation is included, and I am not making this up. The marketing material talked about how these wine were “unpretentious” and “easy to relate to,” and how their tasting notes avoided “wine geek talk” because “We don’t like wine geeks.” Ahem.

Recommendations: Gateway wines for millennials

TXT Cellars certainly isn’t the only wine company targeting millennials these days. Brands such as Cupcake Vineyards and Middle Sister Wines and the multicolored store displays of the HobNob line make no secret as to their target demographic.

But it isn’t just cutesy brands. I hear a lot of chatter these days about marketing wine to millennials. Many believe this enormous generation, ages 21 to 30, will be the saviors of the wine industry.

Market research seems to back that up. In late January, the nonprofit Wine Market Council released a survey showing that millennials most closely mirror what the council terms “high-end wine buyers” (meaning people of all ages who buy bottles priced at more than $20 at least once a month). Like high-end wine buyers, millennials are more likely than other demographics to try wines they’ve never heard of before, more likely to consult wine reviews and more likely to visit wine bars. Millennials also consume more wine per occasion and use Twitter and Facebook overwhelmingly more to talk about the wines they drink.

“Millennials are drinking more wine and better wine at a young age than any other generation has,” says Leah Hennessy, owner of Millennier, a marketing and design firm based in Los Angeles that works with wineries to reach millennials.

This is all very exciting for people in the industry who hope millennials will lead an adventurous new age of wine consumption: caring about both quality and value; championing hip grapes such as gruner veltliner, carmenere and Riesling instead of old standbys such as Chardonnay, pinot noir and cabernet sauvignon; and challenging, once and for all, the stuffy wine establishment.

Still, when I hear this high-minded talk of millennal wine drinkers, I often think about the university students I teach, who mainly fall at the younger end of the Millennial generation. Lots of my students have studied abroad and are more educated about, with more fully formed opinions on, what they eat and drink than those in my generation at the same age. However, another segment of my millennial students told me about something called slap the bag. This is a drinking game in which the bag of wine is removed from, say, a box of Franzia. The bag is held high, and everyone slaps the bag while someone chugs from the spout. The harder the slap, the bigger the chug.

Now, I make no judgment. But my point here is that the true wine-drinking nature of a generation as vast as the millennials probably falls somewhere between that of the educated, high-end wine buyer and those who play slap the bag.