Absolut Vodka & Swedish House Mafia Collab For Epic ‘Absolut Greyhound’ Commercial { @sh_digest, #absolutgreyhound, #swedishhousemafia }

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Absolut Vodka & Swedish House Mafia Collab For Epic ‘Absolut Greyhound’ Commercial

Absolut Vodka & Swedish House Mafia’s ‘Absolut Greyhound’ Commercial

Swedish vodka brand Absolut has teamed up with electro-house band Swedish House Mafia to deliver a thrilling, futuristic tv spot for its newest mixed-drink, Absolut Greyhound. Made just for Absolut, the band’s intense rhythmic house track, “Greyhound” is available now on iTunes.

“We’re adding music to mixology, and making hit tracks to go with our hit cocktails,” says Jonas Tåhlin, Vice President Global Marketing at The Absolut Company. “We always expect our consumers to remember the taste of a perfect cocktail. Now they are going to remember what it sounds like.”

Created by TBWA/Chiat/Day and directed by Carl Erik Rinsch (The Gift), the commercial—set as a desert masquerade ball—is quite the brilliant visual journey that keeps you watching to the very end.

Swedish House Mafia‘s three DJs Axwell, Steve Angello, and Sebastian Ingrosso engage in a little friendly competition—racing as three robotic greyhounds. Actually, I’m surprised PETA hasn’t loaded up the complaint wagon on this. Anyhoo…

Meanwhile, high-fashion spectators eagerly await the victor and sip the one-part vodka, three-parts grapefruit beverage. When one DJ/dog (in yellow) trips up his the others with some special effects, it causes the DJ/dog in blue to fall and tumble but he regains his footing and all three finish strong.

Absolut has also commissioned Swedish electro-soul group Little Dragon and British alternative pop artist Dan Black to pen Absolut cocktail-inspired tracks over the coming months, so we’re excited to see and hear what’s coming next!

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Shake and Flake Topping

Posted in StoryLine with tags Blog, Curley, Dandruff, Diner, Dolores, Parmesan, Restrooms, Trauma, Truck Stop, WordPress on July 26, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

All walks of life have walked into the diner at one time or another — speak of the disheveled, a low life just walked in the door.  Dolores was cleaning a table and had to do a double take and the befouled mess that wafted through the door.  This disgusting heap of a man had excessive hair everywhere from the unruly uni-brow, to the bushy Santa-esk beard, all of which worked as a team to retain the funk of body odor that made the entire rest of the diner wince upon his arrival.  The man has been wearing the same sleep-in-and-go outfit since about 1998 based on how the clothes appear to be disintegrating off his body and the sheer thickness of the beard dandruff built up on his black t-shirt.  The stench finally chose a spot to sit down, and as Dolores approached the table she had to weave her way through the green stink cloud to find him.  Through years of experience Dee was able to hold her breath long enough to take the order and escape with her life.  While Curley was making the dinner Dolores overheard the grotesque man talking about his “wife” and “daughter” which she assumed was the name of his two favorite garbage piles back home.  Dolores was rushing Curley to make the guy’s dinner quickly so she could get him out of the diner.

“Here you go hun, good luck” said Curley when handing her the plate.

“Thanks I might just need it” she replied when picking up the plate of Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo and heading back into the mist.

“Can I get some more parmesan?” the man inquired upon the arrival of his pasta.

“No problem!” Dolores exclaimed happy due to the fact he wasn’t trying to generate conversation.

She went back into the kitchen to procure his request and on the way back to the table her eyes grew wide in shock.  The man was apparently fanning himself with the neck of his t-shirt; resulting in the excessive dandruff caked on the front of his shirt to flake off and coat the top of his dinner.  Dee stood for a moment in a traumatized stupor then asked “So do you still need the parm?”

“Yeah yeah, why wouldn’t I?” was his irritated response.

“No reason” she squeaked and dropped off the cheese and retreated back into the kitchen.

He ate every last noodle, and left to the bathroom for what turned out to be a 40 minute sit.  In the mean time Dolores caught up her coworkers on the events unfolding in the diner.  By the time the entity emerged from the can, there was quite a crowd peeking through the porthole in the kitchen doors to catch the main event.

The man came up to the desk to pay with Interac and was apparently unable to support his excessive body weight, as he compensated by effectively beaching his upper body on the counter.  During his struggles he was expelling more dander and stench than ever before.  Dolores turned her head away and hid around the corner with her nose tucked into her shirt.  She looked up to see Curley peering through the window from the safety of the kitchen, they each put their hand up to each other on either side of the glass; no one was sure if she’d survive the ordeal.

“What are you doing over there little miss?” the man asked.

“Not looking at your Interac PIN” she replied in haste.

“Well I’m all done, I don’t need a receipt” he said.

“Okay, bye!” she croaked.  After a moment or two to gain courage she looked behind her only to see a semi circle of infected area peppered in body dander, with a negative space marking the location of his center mass.

“Curley, call the HAZMAT team!” she shrieked.

2 Comments »

The Chicken of the Sea

Posted in StoryLine with tags Blog, Curley, Diner, Dolores, Fish and Chips, Insult, Moxie, Truck Stop, WordPress on July 24, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

It was Dolores’ first day of her work week and it was already shaping up to be a long one.  She usually has a pretty effective mental barrier in place to repel the inevitable frustrations that arise from dealing with the public in customer service jobs; today her mental barrier was wavering.  The highlight of the night just walked through the door, in the form of a redneck family.  The parents and small litter of children sat themselves and Dolores approached, gave menus and informed them of the daily specials.  The family ordered fairly quickly, point of interest the mother ordered the daily special: Fish and Chips.  Just as the plates were about the come up the mother flagged Dolores down to get her attention.

“Can I help you?” Dolores asked with a smile.

“Uh yeah, does the Fish n’ Chips have chicken innit?” the woman questioned.  Dolores paused for a few seconds to see where the woman was going with this; it could have been the introduction to a joke of some sort –it wasn’t.

“Um no, just fish and chips” Dee replied with a nervous laugh.

“So it’s not like chicken fingers?” the woman inquired further.

“Sort of, but its fish instead of chicken; you could say that fish are the chicken of the sea” Dolores replied in jest.  The woman stared at her blankly.

“I thought they wuz chicken fingers” the woman replied after a long and hard stare with her mouth hanging open.

“So I’m gathering!  We do have Chicken Fingers on the menu, we call them Chicken Fingers as to avoid confusions such as this, if you would like we could cancel your order of Fish and Chips, and change it to an order of Chicken Fingers.” Dolores explained patiently.  The woman agreed after she processed the notion.  Dolores headed back to the kitchen to talk to Curley.

Moxie happened to be in the kitchen too, so Dolores reiterated the story to both her fellow employees.  The two of them just stared back in disbelief.

“Here’s your Chicken Fingers, anything else?” Curley asked.

“What about a side of chemical castration?” Dee asked hopefully.

“Eugenics went out in the 80s” Moxie chimed in.

“Leg warmers came back in!” Dolores insisted.

4 Comments »

Children’s Biggest Fan

Posted in StoryLine with tags Blog, Ceiling Fan, Diner, Dolores, Insult, Patience, Server, Shy, Trauma, Truck Stop, WordPress on July 15, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

It is hard to appreciate the skill required to be a great server, Dolores makes it look easy.  An untrained eye might not notice the subtle nuances in serving techniques as Dolores weaves her way in between the different table dynamics currently seated in her diner, including a single trucker, an elderly couple, and a foreign family.  Each dynamic requires a flexible and attentive serving technique and Dolores is the master of all of them; seemingly.  Today Dolores met her match, an unorthodox trio consisting of a man whom is being introduced to his new girlfriend’s infant daughter for the first time.  It’s obvious the man is uncomfortable around children and is trying to make a good paternal impression on his girlfriend.

“I love kids!” said the man in the distance as Dolores was filling their drink order.

Dolores was doing her best to ease the awkwardness of the situation, as the boyfriend keeps making kind gestured failed attempts at connecting with the daughter; classic case of trying too hard.

“Maybe you want to sit with me!” he proposed.

“No!” said the girl as she hid behind her mother.

“This is going to be a long meal” thought Dolores.

Once the food arrived it improved a bit, each member of the party had their own plate to focus on and Dolores finally was able to relax and focus a bit on the rest of the restaurant.  Things were really starting to look up a bit toward the end much to the surprise of Dolores.  The table came up the front to pay after the meal had concluded all adorning looks of exasperation, but the boyfriend wasn’t giving up that easily.  With one last Hail Mary attempt at bonding with the girl he had decided he was going to throw the girl in the air and catch her, not really the most brilliant notion in any circumstance let alone when the child doesn’t trust the adult.  In any case, the man grabbed the little girl and tossed her in the air “Weeee!” he said as he accidentally tossed her directly into the ceiling fan.  THUMP.

“BAWWW!” cried the little girl who was struck in the head with one of the fan blades.  She was more shocked and upset than actually hurt.  However the girl’s mother let go of all of her pent up rage at the boyfriend.

“What the hell are you doing!” the mother questioned the boyfriend.

“Here’s your change” said Dolores quietly.

“Keep it, we’re out of here” screamed the mother.

“Hunny wait, wait!” the man called after her.

“Get away from us!” she answered as she scooped up her daughter and ran out the door.

“I’m good, but I’m not that good” Dolores thought in shame as she gave an uneasy final wave goodbye to the party.

5 Comments »

Top 10 Line Cook’s Pet Peeves

Posted in Top 10 with tags Blog, Curley, Diner, Grill, Knife, Patience, Server, Top 10, WordPress on June 25, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

10. Ripping open plastic bread bags, and then not closing them properly!

09. Peers and subordinates trying to boss me around!

08. Fellow cooks not communicating on the line!

07. Other cooks being messy in and near my cooking station!

06. People touching/seasoning the food I’m preparing!

05. Special food requests or customers ordering things that aren’t on the menu!

04. Tables showing up at closing time and wanting full service!

03. Customers having no idea what they want or how to order it!

02. Servers making my job more difficult in so many different ways!

01. People touching my knives!

2 Comments »

Heart Smart Bacon

Posted in StoryLine with tags Bacon, Blog, Curley, Diner, Dolores, Grill, Sarcastic, Truck Stop, WordPress on June 23, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

Dolores has heard a lot of different theories on food and nutrition during her time in the diner.  She rarely offers her opinions on people’s ideals, as people rarely ask for it.  When customers order food, she brings it to them, no commentary required –for the most part. That afternoon Dolores was making coffee, when an older couple entered the diner to find a seat.  Upon approaching the table she found the couple somewhat familiar, certainly she had served them before, but couldn’t recall their visit in specific.  She kept it in the back of her mind as she continued to serve them.

“Ah, yes dear we’ll just have hot water with lemon to drink, also we’ll just split something, we’re not that hungry” The lady started.

“The last of the big spenders” Dolores thought, but “Great” was her perky reply.

“We’ll split the bacon and eggs please, but make sure you have the cook deep fry the bacon, as we’re trying to watch our cholesterol” the man added.

“Pardon?” Dolores replied out of shock despite the fact she heard the man perfectly well.

“We’re trying to be heart smart my dear, if you deep fry the bacon the fat drips off better than when you grill it in its own juices” the woman continued.

“That’s just rid—“ Dolores stopped herself mid sentence.  She learned a long time ago that you shouldn’t argue with foolish people as they will usually just dumb you down to their level then beat you with experience.

“Coming right up!” She finally coughed out.

She rang in the order and went back into the kitchen to pour their waters; she recounted the story to Curley.

“I’m just paid to cook what you ring in, I gave up trying to figure people out a while ago.” was his reply.

“Fair enough” she replied and with that she carried the plates out to the couple.  She returned a minute later holding the plates she carried out.

“What now?” he asked.

“They think the bacon is too greasy” Dolores answered in dismay.

“Fat cooked in fat is fatty, that’s shocking” Curley answered.

“You can’t fix stupid” Dee stated.
“Oh yeah, they also want two more eggs –and make them heart smart as well” She added.

“You want me to take the yolks out?” Curley inquired.

“Nah you just need to pretend, if I have to make-believe so do you” was Dolores’ cheerful reply.

3 Comments »

Top 10 Customer Lies

Posted in Top 10 with tags Blog, Dessert, Insult, Patience, Sarcastic, Sassy, Top 10, WordPress on June 12, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

–Lies that customers pitch every day, that they think are convincing and will get them what they want.

10. “I’ll be right back!” when slipping out the door after eating the meal.

–Really, then why are you taking all your belongings with you?  Get back here!

09.  “I couldn’t possibly eat all this!” when acting surprised and trying to make themselves look like less of a glutton after ordering a monster portion size.

–Surprisingly enough you finish the plate without too much trouble, every time you order it!

08.  “There is plenty of money on the card; there must be something wrong with your machine!” when responding to the embarrassment of a declined credit card at the till.

–Must be, strangely enough it works for everyone else though!

07.  “I never do this, but here’s my phone number.” when trying to diffuse the awkwardness of slipping the server his digits.

–Yes you do, all the time.  You’re clearly playing off the law of probability of averages, meaning I’m ranked 800+, on your list of preferences; save your ink!

06.  “I’ve been good today; I’ll have the fries.” when trying to justify ordering something unhealthy.

–No you haven’t, but I don’t care either.  Just tell me what you want, and I’ll bring it to you no judgment required.

05. “This isn’t right!” & “That isn’t how it’s supposed to be prepared!” when complaining that a dish isn’t made to order and/or matching its description on the menu.

–Really?  That’s weird, here I thought I worked here and I knew what I was talking about, but I differ to your expertise on the matter.

04.  “I can get this same meal for half the price at the restaurant down the street!” when complaining about the prices on the menu.

–No you can’t we’re the cheapest in town but enjoy your delusions.  Also, is it wise to eat from an establishment that is forced to liquidate food at a loss?

03. “I forgot my change, I’ll tip you big next time!” & “I can’t afford to tip you!” when trying to soften the blow of being a cheap skate.

–Fantastic, I’ll just hold my breath until that happens!

02.  “They did it for me last time!” & “I get that here all the time!” when trying to persuade the server to do an unreasonable request.

–Actually, I’m the poor sap who always serves you, and no we certainly don’t!

01.  “If you do this, I’ll tip you big!” again in trying to sway the server to do something they likely shouldn’t be doing.

–Fifty cents isn’t a big tip and we’re not whores; but thanks for the inquiry.

4 Comments »

Where are the Restrooms? –A Server Introspective

Posted in Introspective with tags Blog, Diner, Dolores, Insult, Lost, Restrooms, Sarcastic, Truck Stop, WordPress on June 12, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

The diner is a smaller place, cozy if you will; the perfect size that Dolores can look after the customers without assistance or too much urgency.  The layout is simple it’s a large rectangular dining area that is very open and airy filled with tables and chairs that has high visibility from all vantage points.  Everything is well marked to assist even the most logically impaired patrons; or so one might assume.  The kitchen doors adorn a large “Kitchen Staff Only” sign, the front doors have a large lit “Exit” sign, and the back door has a large hanging sign including directional arrow reading “Restrooms.”  Despite the obnoxiously large visual cues customers can rarely find the location of the facilities without asking the server.

“Is this the way to the bathrooms?” asked a customer while pointing to the kitchen.

“No sir, that’s the kitchen, they don’t like it when you pee in there” Dee responded sarcastically.  She pointed the man in the right direction after he gave her a look of hopeless confusion.  She went about her duties and later noticed another customer standing in the middle of the diner mimicking a deer in headlights.

“That way!” she pointed to the back door.  The customer was able to figure out how to push the door open after some troubleshooting.

“I wonder how these people would do if they were ever lost in the woods? I would hate to see them actually fend for themselves in any sort of life saving situation.” she reflected to herself thoughtfully.

Dolores proceeded to start to take the food order at a table of new customers and was rudely interrupted part way through.

“Where are the bathrooms?” a man shouted at her from across the restaurant.

“Follow the signs!” she shouted back in frustration without turning her head to look at him.

“What sign?” she heard, and she had finally had enough.

“Excuse me for a moment please” she pleaded with the new table as she turned around to deal with the mental juggernaut behind her.

“Sir, can’t you see that I’m assisting another customer at the moment?  If you’d like to take two steps backward and raise your hand with your question, I’d be happy to call on you in a moment.” she replied.

He stared at her for a moment confused, but then followed her instructions.

“Ouch” he said as he recoiled his hand after it struck something obnoxiously large that was hanging from the ceiling.

“That sign!” she shouted in retort.

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All You Can Cheat Buffet

Posted in StoryLine with tags Blog, Buffet, Coffee, Coupon, Dolores, High Chair, Service, Trauma, WordPress on June 11, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

Much to her chagrin, Dolores pulled a morning shift this week –a weekend morning to boot.  The diner has a breakfast buffet on Saturdays and Sundays.  These events feature decent quality food, for a reasonable price, and kids under three are free!  Dee was shambling around the diner in a catatonic state refilling coffees and pulling empty plates when she came upon a new table seated in her section.  It was a family of four: a mom, a dad, and two kids.  Both of which were too old and too big to be jammed into high chairs.  Great, they’re trying to milk the ‘free under three’ rule, she thought as she approached the table.

“Good morning, how is everyone doing today?” Dee greeted as cheerfully as possible given her schedule disruption.  Everyone gave the usual nonchalant responses, except for one of the high chair bound children.

“I’m feeling slightly dejected today actual—“ he was disrupted as his mom quickly jammed a bottle in his mouth to cut him off.

“Yes we’re just fine thank you” she responded on his behalf.

“Great, and how old are the kids?” Dolores asked with anticipation.

“They’re a little big for their age, but believe it or not they’re both under three!” the woman stated as she fixed a hardened stare on the waitress as if she was challenging her to a death match.

“I’m five silly!” corrected the other child that wasn’t choking on the bottle.  The mother laughed nervously as she redirected her fatal glance at her son.  The father hid his face in his hands in embarrassment.

“I’ll give you some time to get your story straight!” Dolores answered with enthusiasm.  She came back after a few minutes to check on the family.

“I’ve spoken with my manager and we’ll only charge you for one child’s buffet today, but we do ask that you don’t force your children sit in the high chairs we’re concerned about the restricted blood flow to their legs” Dee explained calmly.

“Oh okay that sounds alright, but we also have coupons!” the woman said reaching into her purse to retrieve them.  During her rummaging efforts she accidentally unearthed several zip-lock plastic bags that fell to the floor –likely planning on taking leftovers home.

Dee stared in disbelief as she heard the now familiar slap of the husbands palm to his forehead.

3 Comments »

Top 10 Most Overused Customer One Liners

Posted in Top 10 with tags Blog, Dessert, Dolores, One Liner, Service, Top 10, WordPress on June 10, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

–Lines that customers say repeatedly, but think are funny and original.

10.  “You took the calories out of that right?” regarding a dessert that has been served to them.

09.  “You’re still here?” & “Don’t you own the place by now?” in reference to the fact that the server has been working there for a while.

08.  “If that one is named Dolores, what is the other ones name?” referencing a name tag over a breast.

07.  “My name is _______ and I’ll be your customer” in response to the greeting “My name is Dolores and I’ll be your server.”

06.   “No thanks, I’m sweet enough” in response to offering a dessert menu.

05.  “A million dollars” & “The winning lottery numbers” in response to a “Can I bring you anything else?” prompt.

04. “Are you on the menu?” in response to an “Are you ready to order?” prompt.

03. “Does it matter which one of us pays? No? Then you pay.” regarding bill payment at a multi-guest table.

02.  “Do we need a reservation?” & “Are you open?” in reference to finding a seat in an empty restaurant.

01.  “I didn’t order that!” & “I don’t want that” in reference to their bill being placed on the table.

3 Comments »

The Dirty Table –A Server Introspective

Posted in Introspective with tags Blog, Diner, Dolores, Patience, Sarcastic, Service, Truck Stop, WordPress on June 8, 2010 by oversleazyeggs

It’s an unexplained phenomenon which occurs every day before Dolores’ eyes.  It occurs most frequently in between the meal rushes; during the slow times.  Interestingly enough, it doesn’t occur with the same table each time.  If it did, it would make sense –clearly it’s not a question of people simply having a preference for the best table in the diner.  Perhaps it has to do with a fetish for sitting in a preheated seat, or other people’s filth?  The irresistible attractive force between new customers and the only dirty table in the diner is truly unexplainable; like moths to a flame.

“Excuse me, can we get some service please?” said the voice that snapped Dee out of her reflective trance.

“Sorry, I was just trying to figure out why you sat in the only dirty table in the entire diner.” replied Dee.  The customers stared at her blankly.

“Oh did we?  Oh sorry, can we get some menus?” they asked –while staying put.

“Actually I need to clean and set up the table first, I’d be happy to relocate you to the table next to you if you’d like, it’s already clean.” Dolores replied.

“So we can’t sit here?” they questioned.

“Sure, if you have to!” Dee said cheerfully through her teeth while wiping crumbs into their laps.

3 Comments »

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sometimes You Just Don’t Feel Like Partyin’, Partyin’ (Yeah!)

March 17th, 2011 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

DISGRASIAN turned 4 earlier this month, and we didn’t celebrate it with Sichuan food and bowling (like our first birthday), a fine old bottle of Scotch (like our second), or a post in which we admitted–for possibly the first and probably the last time–that we are sometimes wrong about stuff (like our third). We didn’t even mention it to each other!

There’s always a teeny bit of discomfort that comes with a birthday–a heart sigh from being another step closer to the end, whatever “the end” may be. Some bewilderment about where you are, what you’re doing, disbelief that you’re only this far (or already too far). A bit of grief for the way things aren’t anymore, for the people that aren’t anymore, for the dreams that you have put to bed.

And that applies to a blog birthday, too. After all, four years is a long-ass time on the Internetz (Reading this, 10-year-old Angry Asian Man will likely roll his eyes and flip us the bird). But seriously, in 2011, who the eff is Sanjaya Malakar? And when was the last time we wrote about crazypants Tila Tequila? And have we run out of things to say about Gwen Stefani? (Probably, as her DISGRASIAN solo singing career seems to have stalled.)

While it’s certainly a relief to move on to more au courant items like, say, Rebecca Black’s awferful “Friday” song that we can’t stop fucking singing aloud (hence, the title of this post) and the inscrutable spelling habits of the Tea Party, it’s hard to think that we’ll never, for example, write about a new Guitar Hero edition (we were actually too sad to write about the death of our favorite all-ages pasttime on the blog) ever again. Maybe it makes just makes us feel old. Holy fudge, we ARE old!

Let me restate: This whole birthday thing makes us feel old, because we are.

And the reason I’m saying all of this? Because I love this Japanese YouTube cat, who seems about as stoked to be birthdaying it up as we are.

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sometimes You Just Don’t Feel Like Partyin’, Partyin’ (Yeah!) »

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disgrasian Damn. @BeauSia is brilliant. His response to Asians in the Library: http://bit.ly/gkSACs That’s deep. about 1 hour ago · reply

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Alexandra Wallace Knows Jack About The Internet

March 17th, 2011 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Tip: If you wanna know how the Internet works, ask an Asian, not your dad.

 

ROCK OF ASIAN: Jimmy Wong’s Response to Alexandra Wallace Is Even Catchier Than Rebecca Black’s “Friday”

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March 7th, 2011 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There are about 1500 of these happy bastards in the U.S.

 

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Kishidan And The Fashion Of Anti-Semitism

March 4th, 2011 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

2011′s ugliest trend.

 

If You’re A 28 Year-Old Chinese Dude, Now’s The Time For Crimin’

March 3rd, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

So you are saying we all look alike?

 

Who Cares About A Bunch Of Dead Pandas?

March 2nd, 2011 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

Would we seethe with blue rage if tuna were cute and cuddly?

 

older »

Disgrasian Dictionary

Uncle Tam –

Yellow Uncle Tom.

Panda-ring –

Pandering to our people.

AMAZIAN –

Amazin’ Asian.

HONORASIAN –

Honorary one of us.

DISGRASIANMOBILES –

The Honda Element and the Toyota Scion; souped-up Acuras; a brand spankin’-new Infiniti.

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Tags: #melissakincaid, #sophisticatedhipstersdigest, msquared2pr, #Disgrasian, #@disgrasian, #stereotypes, #race,

Kim Kardashian Becomes the Latest Reality Star turned Musical “Artist” via [#sugarscape, #mtv, #KimKardashian, #jam]

Be the first in your friends to like it

Buy NOW!!!



 

SOPHISTICATED HIPSTERS™ MixTape

via [sugarscape]

Paris Hilton tried, Heidi Montag failed… can the latest reality TV star, Kim Kardashian, break the music scene?!

Uber fitty Kim Kardashian has premiered her new single, ‘Jam (Turn it up)’ during an interview on Ryan Seacrest’s Radio show.She admitted to Ryan how nervous she was about releasing a single saying, “I’m human, I’ve never, you know, sang before.”

The response to her catchy , club track have been somewhat mixed.

Some people have been slating the song for being so auto-tuned that it could basically be anyone singing it.

The Washington Post also slammed it saying, “Its lyrics appear to have been penned by a third-grader who is writing a short story about what adults do when they go clubbing.”

Hmmm they may have a point with lyrics like, “Imam burn it out tonight, its goin down/By live via satellite/And all I see is angels in my eyes.”

Charlie Sheen would not call that real partying.

Check it out for yourself:

The repetitive chorus is definitely catchy and we can imagine have a little bum wiggle to it in the clubs. But, if we were tied to a chair and forced to listen to it on loop, after a while, we’d probably beg for someone to puncture our eardrums, with a fork.

However, half the profits go to St Jude Children’s Research Hospital! so if you do like it, get on iTunes and download it!!

We’re just waiting for the music video atfer Kim Tweeted some preview pics from it.

Hype Williams, the man behind Kanye West’s ‘Gold Digger’ video, is directing it. Kim has been Tweeting excitedly from the shoot calling him a ‘genius’. Let’s hope it won’t be a disappointment akin to the Britney ‘Hold it Against Me’ fiasco.

Are you guys lovin’ or hatin’ the single? Reckon the video will be HOT? Kim has no current plans to record an album, do you want her too or should she stick to the day job…? Comments below please!

Reactions to Kim Kardashian’s New Single “Jam”

Posted 3/2/11 5:21 pm ET by gabigregg in Music, News, Twitter

This morning, Kim Kardashian finally premiered her new single, “Jam” on Ryan Seacrest Live. From Kim Zolciak‘s “Tardy for the Party” to Countess LuAnn’s “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” the reality star-turned singer isn’t really a new phenomenon.

When I heard the song, I just shook my head. Now let’s be clear, I love Kim K, but I can’t say the same for her single. The good news, though, is that she admits that she’s no singer and she was just doing it for fun (unlike some others who shall remain nameless). Even better, is that a portion of the proceeds go to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Another reality star whose singing voice got less than rave reviews is MTV’s own Heidi Montag. Naturally, I decided to compare the two! I asked you guys on twitter to rate Kim’s new song on a scale of 1-10, and tell me who was better at singing, Heidi or Kim K. To be honest, I expected most people to side with Kim given that Heidi’s not exactly the most-liked celeb in the world…but I was definitely shocked by your answers. Here’s what you had to say:

Uh-oh. Looks like you’re not feelin’ it. But who knows? Maybe it’s one of those things that will play on the radio so much we’ll fall in love. I’ll check in again in a few weeks…

Tags: #melissakincaid, #sophisticatedhipstersdigest, #HeidiMontag, #KimKardashian, #KimZolciak, #jam, #sugarscape, #polls, #hypewilliams, #realitytv, #thedream, #kanyewest